Hannah: *singing* Your name’s Blurryface and you care what they think. H: Tony’s in a spinny chair. H: That’s gonna get annoying REAL fast! Tony: Weeee (opening titles) H: Today, we’re gonna-
T: Listeeen up, this is a story Both: Of a blue thing, and all this shit is blue H: Today, we are going to draw cartoon characters
H: From memory? T: oh…no… H: Do you think we can do that? H: 5 minutes? For each of them? H: Okay what are we gonna do first? H: *stutters* H: I almost said Michael Cera. T: Steven Universe? I’m really into Steven Universe. H: Mr Universe, as they say. H: I’m getting scared that we’re gonna do really bad.
T: Yeah, I’m gonna do horrible. H: Okay, it’s fine! It’s fun, guys! It’s fun, remember? We’re having fun.
T: We are. H: Ready, set, go! T: Oh gosh… I can’t draw! Both: *laugh*
H: Did you forget? T: I forgot! H: Don’t look at mine, by the way. Don’t cheat. T: I’m not
H: I’ve got a recording of you so you can’t H: Tony! H: Shit I don’t remember what is hair looks like.
T: Ha H: I know he has fluffy hair but I don’t remember how the top of it looks.
(T: You fool) H: You’re a fool! H: Does he have a neck? My heart says no neck. T: *singing* Mine is not proportional! T: Oh Caaarl nooo!
H: Carl noooo! H: His eyes and hair are messed up, that is something I know. *timer goes off*
H: Ahhh T: Stop Hannah- ooohh yours is cuuute…. H: Is that what he looks like?
T: Ugh H: Okay his hair is wrong, let’s just get that out of the way. H: It looks so bad! H: Okay Tony, show yours. T: Don’t…judge mine. H: Eeets…
Both: *laugh* H: He’s very tall. T: I couldn’t make him…small. H: *singing* cause I ain’t not holla back girl, I ain’t no holla back GURL! H: Who do you wanna do next?
T: eeerm Steerveern (I’m Steven) T: I picked Steven, you should pick the next one H: Finn! From Adventure Time! H: Do you know what he looks like?
H: Uyeah T: Oh yeah
T: Ohhh yeah
H: Huaa yeah H: I need to learn to smile like Natalie Dormer H: *sigh* I can’t
T: Okay, let’s try draw Finn again
H: Okay, sorry, I was just thinking about Natalie Dormer H: GOOOOO! H: He’s got a circle face, I know that much.
T: (humming in the background) H: He’s just a…noodly dude. H: That’s his arm stump, okay, it’s not just a shorter hand. H: I labeled it so people won’t get confused. T: I don’t remember what his legs are like.
H: He’s got noodle legs. T: Just normal noodle legs. H: Why did I do this? It seemed like a good idea, now I regret it. T: Oh man, his arm looks broken. H: I, yeah, his arm looks weird for me too H: I tried to give him like, the stubby little arm. Did you try and give him a stubby arm? T: No…
Both: *laugh* *timer goes off*
H: Eek! T: Yours looks really good.
H: Oh yeah. Oh yeah I nailed it. T: I gave him pants…oh, nevermind I didn’t do anything. Both: *laugh* H: He looks like a little bear person.
T: Ye..that’s what he is! H: Adventure bear.
T: He’s a little bear. T: Mistah Finnigan H: Okay who’s next, it’s your pick!
T: …Mabel H: D-d-d-d-d-d-do it H: You’re already drawing, so T: en-MABEL-er T: *laughs*
H: Damn it Tony! T: What does her hair look like?
H: It’s like super puffy. I was just thinking that. H: Her hair looks like a butt!
Tony: Niiice. Tony: oh this is looking creepy T: Oh nooo *laughs* The more I draw the worse it gets
H: *laughs* T: Okay, uhmm…she’s gonna have a closed mouth. I can’t draw open mouths. H: You’re erasing the whole thing?!
T: Her whole body!
H: *concerned sound* T: I have one minute
H: Eeek! T: Oh man
H: You getting worse over there, Ton?
T: Yeah *timer goes off*
H: NOOOOOO! H: Wait, I wanna give her her pig. H: Just like, wait, ready? *laughs*
T: Nice. Perfect! T: Don’t judge me… H: My god Tony. That’s terrifying! Her hair! T: I know! She has big hair though! Look up a picture of her!
H: Yeah but- H: No, why’d you think it was floofed up?
T: *unintelligible noises*
H: Okay it’s not- H: I thought it went straight across. I was wrong too. H: I forgot what their eyes looked like. Damn. Oh we were both really off.
T: Jeez. Oh no. H: Yours looks scary dude.
T: Yeaah… H: Let’s do…Spongebob? T: I can draw Spongebob
H: *singing* I’m ready! Promotion! I’m ready! Promotion! H: I used to watch so much Spongebob when I was a kid. I heard it got weird. H: It was always weird though.
T: Yeah. T: Lil’ noodly stick legs, and lil’ noodly arms. H: *whispered* what do his eyes look like? T: *Spongebob laugh* Nyahahaha
H: *Spongebob laugh* Nyahahaha H: I think I’m getting close. OH! I know ho- I remember how is eyes look. I think. H: Like that looks scary, but isn’t that what it is? T: Woooah
H: I think that’s what it is, right? H: OH MY GOD You did so well! Ho…now mine looks like trash! What the hell!
T: *laughs* H: You were like waiting to draw Spongebob, you were like, ‘Now my time has come. My years of art school pay off.’ H: Damn it. Tony! T: I forgot his eyelashes.
H: There was a whole plot about his eyelashes.
T: Uh huh H: Okay. Let’s like, put him in the smallest corner, and the darkest tower. He’s terrifying, isn’t he? He’s so scary.
T: Yeah. H: Okay, it’s your turn to pick.
T: OOOooowah H: That’s not an option… T: Let’s do Jimmy Neutron!
H: *gasp* Oh that’s gonna be terrifying. Good idea. H: Go! H: I done fucked up Ton. I DONE. FUCKED. UP. H: He’s got like super tiny legs, I think.
T: Does he? H: Yeah.
T: Uh oh. *timer goes off*
T: Yeah this one needs to end. H: Yeah…
T: Yeah it needs to end. H: Oh my god. Look at his eyes.
T: Can we look up what he actually looks like? H: Those are murder eyes.
T: …before I show mine H: ner NER Both: *quiet laughing*
H: oh no…. H: TONY!
T: *laughing* H: Show it. Show it!
T: Stahp H: oh my…GOD T: *laughing* H: *pained sounds* H: Let’s just get rid of this.
T: Get rid of him. H: I need to stop drawing them with their arms just out like they’re being crucified H: Timmy! H: Let’s do two more!
T: Fairly Odd Parents Timmy, right?
H: Yes H: Who did you think? T: I’m just making sure H: Timmy the Tool Man Taylor?
T: You know…maybe H: arrOOO H: You remember what he looks like?
T: no… T: Let’s do it!
H: Let’s do it! H: Go! H: He’s the one with buckteeth, that’s not what they look like though. H: Does his hair go up or down? H: *singing* My hair goes up, my hair goes down
T: Doesn’t he have a ball cap on? H: My hair- …yes H: hop duce gub juice..big boost..jubba juice H: Giant snake, birthday cake, large milk, chocolate shake! H: This does not look like him at ALL!
H: Not even a little! T: Nope. This was a bad one! H: Nope. Nope. Nope. H: This is starting to look like a Rick and Morty- T: *laughing* H: Mine?!
T: I just looked at yours!
H: STOP! T: *laughing*
H: I don’t knoooow! T: *laughing*
H: Is that not right?! But what does he look like though? T: I don’t kn-not like mine! H: Oh my god
T: *laughing* H: This is so bad
T: What do I fix?! H: I don’t- *laughs* T: He’s got like, a cone head. Nice. Nailed it. T: Oh. Made mine look worse! H: Oh my god. Tony!
T: Oh wow…they look really similar! H: Do it. Do it.
T: Danadaduuuuuh H: It’s…*laughs* H: You’ve got a better memory of childhood things than I do. They were deformed in my mind. T: Let’s draw Ash!
H: Let’s do it! Both: *singing* Ba ba ba ba H: Let’s do him.
T: *singing* You teach me and- Both: *singing* I’ll teach you! Pokémon!
H: Gotta catch ’em all! T: *quietly singing* Gotta catch ’em all! H: Pokémon! H: One, two, go! H: He’s pointy isn’t he? In my head he’s pointy. H: Can you make anime noises?
T: It’s just a lot of breathing. T: *heavy breathing* H: Coooorl…
Both: oh noooo… H: He’s got like cut off sleeves, right? Like a biker gang? H: Do you know why I don’t draw anime? Because I can’t. T: Do you know why I don’t draw anime?
T: It’s the same reason. H: Oh okay. T: Ohhh no…
H: It’s just…it’s the hand where his hand should be…
T: *laughs* H: I’m doing that ALL the time now. H: You know…I wouldn’t say I nailed it…
T: Dat Ash…
H: You’re an idiot. T: I need to write that
Both: …*laughs* H: You know it started strong, got a lot worse H: *whispered* God damn my Spongebob is so scary H: I’m gonna have nightmares. It’s just not something you forget- that face. H: Okay, lets, I don’t want to look at this anymore H: Leave a comment and tell us who won. Every one is a point.
T: Yeah T: Best out of seven. It’s even an odd number, it it can’t be a tie.
H: We did this on purpose. H: You can do this on whose you liked the best, it doesn’t have to be the best. Give Tony a chance. H: I’ve gotta go to work, and I am *singsong voice* starving! H: Grab me a Panda Time! We need to do this FAST!
T: Panda Time! I don’t know where they are! H: They’re on the counter. Oh my leg is fucking- *banging sounds*
T: *laughs* H: *singing* Pandas time! It’s time. For. Pandas! H: Awww!
T: It’s a cake break down shirt!
H: That’s so cute you drew my shirt! H: Er, sponsor, it’s on Redbubble! Redbubble @hannahhoffman H: ‘Open me fam’! *laughs H: ‘Hellooo! I saw in your Drawing Hamilton you featured me in Panta Time’! Aww! H: Look! She sent me, also one of my designs on Redbubble. It says ‘everything is fine’ up here. H: Wanna put it on my hat. Perfect!
H: That’s where it lives now! H: Thank you for your letters, friends! Sorry I’ve been a little slow on Panda Time, it was, I was moving, and it was just, a lot of stuff. H: I love you very very much, and I will see you soon! Byeee! *end card music* H: I love you mu- *stutters* T: Ver ver muh
H: Erderbambermerch, ern ahderseepoon! Bee bee! H: Wait, lemme do it right