Drawing With The Boys – The Drawfee Variety Hour

Drawing With The Boys – The Drawfee Variety Hour


– Who’s Mommy’s fancy boy? – Oh it’s me, Mamma! – Me, Mamma! – Mamma, ’tis I! – Mamma, it must be me,
please Mamma, please – It has to be me, it simply must, oh, Mamma, it’s me! It’s me Mamma, Mamma! – Mamma, Mamma, it has
to be me, Mamma please! – Mamma, it’s me, it’s me! (licking noise) – Mamma, Mamma. – Who’s Mommy’s fancy boy? – It’s me, Mamma, please! – Mamma, Mamma, Mamma,
Mamma, Mamma, Mamma, – [Tony] The Drawfee Variety Hour 39 minutes of your favorite
Drawfee Cast together, and last, never together had they seen, been together before, it’s Nathan, you know him. Oh, it’s Caldwell,
looking, not generated yet, even a little bit, and there’s Jacob, who
gives a shit about him? It’s the Drawfee Variety Hour. – Ha ha, ha ha, ha ha,
ha ha, oh, ha ha, ha ha. (laughs) (laughs) – Welcome to the Drawfee Variety Hour, where we take dumb ideas and make an even dumber variety show. – [Jacob] Yeah, dude. – I’m Nathan, joined
by two real fancy boys. – I’m Jacob, but right
now I’m Dimp the Imp, and I’m coming to shoot slingshot shots in your windows, Imma bust up your pots and vases. – You’re a rude boy. – Yeah, I’m gonna stick gum to your butt, and you’re gonna sit on it. – I’m Caldwell, but today I am, of course, Fanciful Ferdinand, and I have never once scraped my knee. I have a perfect bottom. – And I should have mentioned, I’m Nathan, but today I am Sailor Baby. – [Caldwell] Sailor baby! – [Jacob] Sailor baby. – [Caldwell] The youngest. – [Jacob] The cutest of them all. – I got my lollipop, if you couldn’t have guessed from that, we’ve got a real fun
theme today on the show, and that theme is boys. – [Caldwell] Boys! – [Jacob] Simply delightful, the boys! – [Caldwell] I clap my fingers. – We know what boys are and do! – I know what boys like, and it’s this. – It’s this, the boys love it. – This is our understanding of boys, lads, imps, youths, boys. This is what we got in store for you, so, yeah, you’ll make your decision now about whether or not
you want to keep watching this episode. – Dial B for boys. (laughs) Pull out your phone, dial B for boys. – [Jacob] You’ll get a boy. – If this is anyone’s first episode watching Drawfee Variety Hour, what we do on this show
is we have our theme, and we do a series of drawing challenges, each of us will do a drawing
challenge fit for a boy, (laughs) I will get my — – [Caldwell] Too small for a man. – Too small for a man. – Little, tiny challenges
for my grubby hands to grab. – They’re gonna get so sticky. (laughs) there’s only one way to
get our drawing challenges, and of course, in order
to do that, we must spin that wheel. (wheel spinning noise) – [All] Oh! – It almost landed on kill Nathan. – No, we don’t talk about that – We don’t bring that up anymore. – That seems dangerous. – It’s incredibly common, you
get used to it after awhile. – It happens so much now,
we can’t talk about it. – You get a little bit numb. – Hey, I got gym. – You got gym, Nathan. – Every growing boy must exercise. – Calisthenics. – Ooh. – Fit of body, fit of mind. – Oh my God, get that good foley, this is really heavy, huh? These are some weights that– – [Jacob] It’s like
training with weights on. – It’s like training with weights on, I’ve gotta draw with weights on. – [Caldwell] Amazing. – [Jacob] How many pounds are these? – Yeah, how many pounds are these? – [Jacob] Adam, how many pounds? – Five– – [Jacob] No one asked you, Adam! Got ’em. – [Caldwell] Why are you
being so mean to Adam? – [Jacob] That’s what boys do. It’s a bit of boyish
ribbing amongst friends. A bit of boyish tease. – Lads simply must. – Great work. Thanks Adam. Oh my God, wow, okay. – [Caldwell] Thanks, Adam. – [Jacob] Watch out for you lolly. – [Caldwell] Except
not, I retract my thanks (Caldwell and Jacob laugh) – Another bit of boyish tease. – Point this towards you guys, so you can see what I’m drawing. – Oh, thank you. – Can y’all see? – Oh, delightful, yes, I love to see. – Okay, oh, it’s not so bad if I just
rest my hand on the table. – Don’t rest your hand on the table. Unallowed. – Unallowed. – Okay, what should I draw, though? Something strong, I guess. – [Jacob] Something very strong. – I’ll draw myself getting so strong. – [Jacob] A strong boy. – [Caldwell] A strong man. – A strong boy. – [Jacob] This’ll be you after your boyish strength training is complete. – [Caldwell] Your head is the same size. – It’s me – [Jacob] Oh, there’s your little hat. I was concerned about
your head situation, but– – This is me, this is my
little boy here that I have, but I’m so strong. – [Caldwell] I miss my boy beard. – [Jacob] Yeah, you know when
your boy beard falls out, and then you have to
grown in your adult beard? And it takes so long,
and it’s so much courser? – [Caldwell] My adult
beard looks like shit. My boy beard was luscious and beautiful, just like, toe-headed curls. – [Jacob] My soft, baby boy pelt, gone forever, and now my manish, (disgusted noise) no thank you. – [Caldwell] My mother
would attach little ribbons to my boy beard. I was the boy belle of the ball. – [Jacob] Nathan, I
hate to point this out, but you’re drawing with
weights only on one arm. – Well, yeah, cause that’s
the arm that I’m using. – [Jacob] Yeah, so there’s no reason your other arm would be
strong in this drawing. – Oh, I see, okay, so this arm should be weak. – [Jacob] Yeah, that
one’s gotta be normal, normal to weak. – Okay, so this is… – [Caldwell] Like a stringy bean. – [Jacob] A tiny eraser fit for a boy. – It really is the shoulder, mostly. – What’s to become of– – Imma do a little rest. – Sure, it’s important to rest. – There it is, there’s your
little string bean arm. – Here. – I’m just picturing him, like, appearing from behind a curtain, and everyone’s like “Oh! Strong!” – [Jacob] But then he comes the rest of the way out, and you’re like, “Oh, half strong.” – [Caldwell] Half strong. – I guess, maybe it’s a little strong, because I am, sort of using it now to prop up my other arm, because I’m getting, it’s
starting to hurt a little bit. – [Caldwell] I think you got, like, one of those little, like, Popeye. Popeye. – [Jacob] Popeye. – I simply adore the Sailor man, Popeye. – And then I’m not doing
any soft of leg workout, so my legs will be nice and skinny. – [Jacob] Yeah, itty bitty skinny legs. – Itty bitty, skinny boy legs. – [Caldwell] Hideous knees. – What’s wrong with my knees? – [Jacob] They’re just retched. – [Caldwell] They’re cysts. – What’s wrong with these knees? – [Caldwell] I want to pop ’em. – What’s wrong with the knees I’ve drawn? – You haven’t been to
the knee dermatologist to have your knees popped yet. – [Jacob] Oh, you know,
hasn’t lost his boy knees. – These are my boy knees – When you go from boy to man, all of your parts sluff off one at a time, and then you grow your big, strong man parts. – When you become pubescent. – [Jacob] You become pubescent. – You just pop off your boy knees. – You pop off your boy knees,
slap on some man knees, and get to lifting dirt. – The hay’s gotta get baled somehow. – You gotta toss it from
the truck into the barn, as far as I know. – Who else is gonna do it? – Not Pa. Not at this point. – Not Mamma, not Pa. – [Jacob] Pa’s exchanged his man knees for his old man knees, you can’t do nothing with those. – [Caldwell] The injury. – [Jacob] Not after the
great injury from the fire where all the cows got loose. – [Caldwell] Feasting upon his knees. – What else should I do? Is this good? – [Caldwell] Do you want
to draw, like, a dumbbell? – Not particularly, but I’ll do it. – Well, it look kinda like
you’re washing your back. – You could be doing that, too, it’s important to become clean. – Yeah, hygiene is important, so yeah, let’s get a little brush, – [Jacob] Get your back scruber. – I’m taking my back washing time. – [Caldwell] I do think
that this I probably, like a, 400 pound brush, though. So even when you’re in the shower, you’re getting absolutely ripped. You’re just lathering up. If you drop that on your foot it’s ruined. – [Jacob] Everything is ruined. – [Caldwell] Everything is ruined, if you drop it on your boy knee, watch out. – Here’s a boy tip for
all you boys out there, if you get two scrubbers,
that twice the back cleaning, and you can just get in the shower and just go ham on your own back. – Just go so fast. – [Jacob] Just go nuts on it. – And then, when you’re done
getting out of the shower, that’s more time for boy stuff. – [Jacob] That’s more time for boy stuff, you get done twice as fast, twice as good, and then imagine all the boy activities you can indulge in. – [Caldwell] Jacob, do you
have any other boy hacks? – I’ll be releasing boy hacks piecemeal throughout the episode. – Okay, good. – [Jacob] And by the end, you’ll
have all the tips you need to be the best boy you can be. – Wonderful – [Jacob] Mamma’s favorite
boy, much like myself. – Here’s a little boy hack from me, just keep a fun little red
wagon with you at all times. – Oh, that’s fun, and you
can just drag it around. – [Caldwell] Drag it around. – [Nathan] A draggin’ wagon. – [Caldwell] A draggin’ wagon, you could carry soil, perhaps a jar full of tadpoles. – [Jacob] That’s a good
thing to be carrying. Sand. – [Caldwell] Sand would be great. – [Jacob] Any sort of
ground particles, boys love. – [Caldwell] Maybe even, unfortunately, the hammer and nails, for
when you have to do chores. – [Jacob] Of course. The barn requires fixing
after the accident. And it is a boy’s task. – [Caldwell] It is a dark
day when a boy must chore. Can we get a quick boo for chores? – [Jacob] Boo! – Boo for chores. – [Caldwell] I simply abhor them. Do not bring your wagon into the shower! – The wagon’s waiting outside. – [Caldwell] Okay, all right. – [Jacob] Thought you
were a fool of a boy. – This is the threshold, this is my shower’s, my shower mat, where I– – [Caldwell] Thank Jesus, lord of boys – Here’s my water pail with my soapy water that I dip into when it’s time to do, (agreeing noises) – [Jacob] You bring it from the well. – You bring it from the well, as all boys do. – Avoiding eye contact with the barn, after the accident. – [Nathan] Yeah, the barn. – [Jacob] We don’t look
upon the barn any further. – Yeah, don’t make eye
contact with the barn. – [Jacob] I meant what I said, and you would do well to heed my warnings. – The barn is watching. – [Caldwell] Papa has never been the same. – [Jacob] Papa’s never been the same, and every night he stares at the barn. – [Caldwell] And the barn stares back. – The barn in the distance. – [Jacob] Don’t look at it! – [Jacob] Don’t look at it, Nathan. – I won’t. – [Jacob] Sailor baby, avert your gaze. – Oh boy, I need a lolly break. – [Caldwell] Getting a lolly break. – [Jacob] Oh, he’s really licking it. (licking noises) – [Jacob] You can tell from the sound. (licking noises) – [Caldwell] Tactile. What’s it taste like? – It tastes like a rainbow of sugar. – Oh, now that’s real boy shit. – [Nathan] I want to be done. – Yeah, you can be done. – You did a great job. Don’t break the computer. – [Jacob] You know, Nathan, I know you wannna be done, but that means it’s time for something else we could do. – Oh, is it our sponsor? – [Jacob] It’s our boyish sponsor. – You can’t be a boy without money. – Boys only for this
sponsor. Boy eyes only. – [Tony] That’s right, boys it’s time to collect your allowance from our sponsor. Today’s Drawfee Variety
Hour is brought to you by toothpaste for men. We’ve got all the great flavors that you men like to fill your mouth with, and then have turn into
a bored, diluted flavor that has far more bubbles
in it than it used to. That’s right, we even have Munt. Yes, we are waiting for the copyright to expire on proper mint, which is coming soon, and then, you know what, you little green leaf,
we’re coming for you. You watch out, because
we’re putting you all up in our, the royalty free toothpaste, we’re gonna use your flavor
until the cows come home, and when those cows do come home, they’ll not be using this toothpaste, because it’s a toothpaste
exclusively for men. – It’s time for the second round of boy challenges. – Yay. – Starring me, my dip, dimp – Dimp the Imp. – That’s right, it’s Dimp. – Dimp, my breath is bated. – Please bate it further. – I wish not for fish
to crawl into my mouth, but they might, because of all the bait. – Clever, clever boy. – As you know. – That’s too clever for me, I don’t care for it. – Sailor baby, you’re so crass. – Can I do a challenge,
or are we doing this more? – You can do that. – Okay. – Well before you do a challenge. – Yeah. – Okay. – I mean, I’m getting to it. – Okay, I see. – You dare question a boy? Boys questioning boys,
what has the world come to? – [Caldwell] Boys must be united. – [Jacob] Boys must stand united. – [Caldwell] Against the barn. – [Jacob] Question no boy. – [Nathan] Against the barn. I’d choose either of you
over the barn, that’s true. – We must avoid the barn, brothers – We must avoid the barn, don’t look at the barn’s eyes. – [Caldwell] Don’t. – The best way to avoid the barn’s gaze is to get another drawing challenge, and in order to do that,
you know what we gotta do. – No, wait. – It can’t be. – Oh, wait, Sailor baby, you’re right. – That’s what I was trying to say. – Sailor baby, you were
right to question a boy. This is truly a dark day for boy kind. Oh, I’ve been a fool, I’ve been a fool this
whole time, Sailor baby. – When a boy goes astray, it’s
time for the boys to play. – It’s time for the boys to play, we actually have a video that we need to show you guys, a special video, I know that there’s a lot of boys in here, in this room, and there’s probably a lot
of boys out there watching, and I think this one’s an
important one for you all to see. (bongo music) – Hi there, my name is Dale. – Hi, my name is Gurt. – I’m Ted. – Hi, I’m Sam Sampson. – I am Charles (mumbles) – My name is Jackson Hart. – And I’m looking to find a friend. A male friend. A male friend or, whatever. Well, it’s hard to find
friends at the bar, because, you know, you’re always watching the game. – Everybody’s pounding drinks, and, just crushing them, and you say “Hey, do you want to be a friend?” And they say “(beep) you, and (beep) off” – I don’t have any trouble,
friends are for weekends. – I wouldn’t say it’s, like, hard for me to meet male friends, It’s just that, like, I find that most dudes
aren’t really on my level. – If I got a male friend, God, it would be amazing. I guess sometimes I would just say “Hey, what do you want to do?” – I’m trying to start a band, here. I’d like it to be an all-male band, we could call it Four Men In The Band. – I just want to go fishing. – I spend a lot of nights at home, alone. And with a friend, I wouldn’t be alone. We would be eating together, we would share spaghetti. – We could go walk through the garden, dig up a tree, toss it. – My ideal male friend, I think, doesn’t give a (beep) about anything. – Some things I look for in a friend, brings extra sunglasses, just in case. That’s it. – Like, if we could go out, and look at, maybe, like,
a cat on the street, and tell it to (beep) off. – I need someone that, when
they walk into the room, everyone looks at them, because, right now,
when I walk into a room, everyone turns and stares and stops. – You can’t be too strong. – What am I looking for in a male friend? This guy, you’ll do, c’mon. – A male friend or whatever. (claps) (claps) – Wow. – What a wonderful service. – I don’t know about you guys, but I got a little
emotional watching that. – Yeah, same. – I volunteer, I’m gonna
put my wig in the ring. – Put your wig in the ring. – I’ll be a male friend. – They’re looking for a male friend. – Or whatever. – Or whatever they’re down for. – It seems like, all of those people seem like perfectly normal
people who just needed a friend. – Yeah, I think that would fix all their problems, personally. You know what’s gonna
fix all our problems? Another challenge – Yeah! – In order to do that,
we gotta spin that wheel! (wheel spinning) – [Caldwell] Again. – Grooming. – Grooming. – Why is nobody commenting
on the Nathan thing? – We’ve been over this, Caldwell, it’s totally normal at this point. – You have to put it in
the back of your mind. – [Caldwell] It’s extremely fucked up. – [Jacob] Put it in the back of your mind, let it fester, let it grow. – Hey, you don’t need to
tell me about it, I know. – You should be very concerned about it. – I was, and then it never, it never lands on it, so it’s fine. – [Jacob] It’s fine, it’s gotta be fine. Tony’s giving us the thumbs up, it’s fine. Tony says it’s fine. – All right, Tony says it’s fine. – The challenge is grooming – [Tony] It’s probably fine. – It’s probably fine. – What the fu-, was that Tony? – That was Tony, yeah. – What’s wrong with Tony’s voice? I’ve heard Tony talk. – No, that’s normally it, I think. – Christ – [Tony] Yeah, Caldwell,
it’s always been like this. – Okay. – That sounds like Tony
to me, I don’t know. You go back to the other episodes,
he sounds just like that. – I feel calm and reassured. – I have to groom. – Groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom, groom. – A perfect grooming candidate. – A hairsman. – I can’t believe this, Adam, I can’t believe you
grew out all this hair, just now, so quickly, why
don’t you have a seat? – A perfect task for a boy is grooming. – It’s important for boys to keep up the hygiene and the grooming. – [Nathan] I was sort of
doing that with my drawing. – [Jacob] Yeah, you washed
your back with double– – I was doing some back scrubs. – The double scrubs, I think, Adam, clearly you really let
yourself, sort of, go in the few minutes since we last saw you, I don’t know what happened to you. – [Caldwell] What did you consume? – I don’t know what you consumed, you’ve lost the power of speech, so it’s worse than I thought. – [Caldwell] Hair tongue. – [Jacob] I gotta groom Adam. – I mean, that’s the thing, when you’re not well groomed, you lose so much
confidence that you can’t, you can’t even speak. – This is a frightening razor, oh my God. – Listen to that hum. – This is like, a legit razor. – It’s got the guards on. – Well I’m thinking
we’ll start, maybe, like we’ll just start taking
some up off the side, here? Like up off the ears, cause right now it’s like,
it’s all down on the ears. Okay, this is good, this
is a good, here we go. – [Nathan] Okay, that’s a noise, that’s the noise we wanna hear. – That’s what you want, okay, let’s get some more of that – [Caldwell] This’ll sell very well. – It’s really just, okay. – [Caldwell] On the pink market. – This is gonna work. Okay, there we go, get some of that. – [Caldwell] Now, I was talking to Adam earlier in the hallway, and he did say that he has
a cotillion tonight, so. – The cotillion is tonight? – [Caldwell] The cotillion is tonight. – Adam, how did you let yourself go just before the cotillion? – [Nathan] Every boy
needs to go the cotillion. – The grand ball. – I need grooming. – [Nathan] Your grooming has restored enough confidence for
him to speak, well done. – We’re gonna need to use some scissors, it’s a thicket in there. You’ve not been maintaining your boyish hygiene, I can tell. – I don’t see a lick
of pomade in that hair. – Not a lick. oh, look at those little– – I got these fancy– – [Caldwell] Crocodile scissors. – Oh, there we go, this
is not working at all. (laughs) That’s good, that’s what you want, This is, okay, here comes some. – That’s a good chunk. – You’re clearly doing something, because. – I’m doing something – There’s hair being removed. – The thing is, I just
gotta do it more and faster. – Big chunks, big fast, yeah. – [Mamma] You guys. – Mamma! – [Mamma] There’s a scissors
for you right there. – Mamma! You came back to us. – You’ve come with scissors. – My fancy boys. – Are those Father’s scissors? – These are Father’s shears, he used for the sheep in the
barn before the accident. – Before the accident. – [Jacob] After the accident,
he won’t touch a scissor. – [Caldwell] No, he simply, he cannot look at anything
sharp, or anything sheep. – Oh, now we’re in business. – [Nathan] Oh, that’s good, okay, so Jacob, do you have sort of a a plan going into this? Like what sort of style you’re aiming to– – [Caldwell] Maybe like a
celebrity reference point? – Do you guys have any
ideas that you wanna? – [Nathan] Like the Rachel? – I’m really giving sort of a Rachel. – [Caldwell] Like a Rachel slash Bozo. – Yeah, Rachel slash Bozo. Okay, yeah, I think I’m
really just trying to, like, I know when I always go, I’m like, I just say, sort of,
random numbers, I’m like, “Give me a 13 up there and maybe like a seven
and a half in the back.” – [Caldwell] I just say
the morse code for help. I’m like, yeah, yeah, and I just like list those out in sequence, and then they turn me down. They say this is a dog grooming parlor. – [Jacob] And you are clearly a boy. – [Nathan] Every time? This happens every time? – [Caldwell] Every time. – [Jacob] So you’ve never had a haircut? – [Caldwell] I just, I make
a wish to the hair cobblers, and they just come in the night. – [Nathan] Oh, they come in the night, and they do your hair so beautiful. – [Caldwell] I pray. – [Nathan] I love it. – [Caldwell] Thank you, yes. – [Nathan] It’s so becoming. – [Caldwell] This is of
Elven craft, obviously. – [Nathan] Obviously. – [Jacob] We’re definitely
getting some work here, you can see that I’ve freed up the ear. – [Caldwell] Wow! – [Jacob] Now it looks like a look. – [Nathan] Because real boys listen. – [Jacob] Cause real boys listen, and you need to have the ear open, at least one ear open, I think I like it long in the back. – [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely. – We gotta get these bangs off the face. – [Caldwell] A parade in the back. – [Jacob] So I’m gonna just, let’s just get these bangs off, your scalp’s looking a little iffy. – [Caldwell] Parlor in the front, parade in the back. – Yes, speaking of which, do you think Mamma will take us to the parade this year? – Oh, I wish to see the
balloons and floats. – [Jacob] This is a look. I think we got a look on our hands. – [Caldwell] This is great, it’s just like, cascading. – [Jacob] Look at this demure. Boy, the perfect attitude
for a boy to have. – [Caldwell] Now what
about this boy beard? – The boy beard is definitely an issue, the back of it is totally fabric. – [Caldwell] It’s like a pelt. – [Jacob] Which is a problem, sorry, I apologize, that was rude of me. – It’s got the– – Never look under a boy’s beard. – That’s where he keeps
his treasures and trinkets. – I think we’re just to give it– – Marbles, Jacks. – A bit of a trim, just
maybe straight across, not anywhere near– – A flat top, yes, the flatter
the better, I might say. – [Jacob] Go straight through, like this. – [Nathan] Oh, yeah. – [Jacob] This is how you trim a beard. – [Nathan] Geometeric,
that’s what you want. – [Jacob] Well, it gives the
appearance of a strong jaw. – [Caldwell] Flat, I mean,
you’ve heard of a flat top, this is a flat bottom. – [Jacob] You want to get it
flat all the places you can. You can keep that, that’s for you to keep. Do whatever you will, actually, I have an idea, can I have this? I think we include this in the hair. – Oh, that’s adds some visual balance to the whole– – Shove that right up in there. – We sorta tuck that in there. – [Nathan] Oh my gosh. – [Jacob] And now, behold the boy. (claps) – All ready for the cotillion. – This is a joyous boy. – This is gonna be the most
fancy boy at the cotillion. – You will earn so many dances. – Thank you so much Adam. – Oh, he’s dancing! – Yes, the boy! – Oh, there’s the boy. – The spring has returned. – Blessed be the boy, and his perfect hair, and now, look, a bounty. – Don’t eat it. – A bounty of rewards. – Don’t eat that. – Some for you, and little Lord
Fiddlesticks, some for you. – Thank you, thank you, (sniffs) – Don’t eat it, don’t eat it. I promise you that. Well guys, that’s the
end of my boy challenge. – You did wonderful. – Did I do it? Do you think I did it good? – You’ve made the boys proud. – I was terrified of Adam when he came in, and when he left, I wanted to dance with him. – I think we all did. I think he deserves a dance, I think he deserves a dance, and we deserve the money that only a sponsor can give to us. I think we’ve earned a sponsorship visit, let’s hear from them right now. – [Tony] That’s right, Jacob. Sponsors are here, now, that’s cause I’m talking. Yes, brought to you by toothpaste for men, this episode is. Mouth Mud, when you have (mumbles) dirt in a tube, and you attach it to your saliva, it becomes mud for your mouth. That’s right! With all the worms you could ever want, will be sguiggly-digglin’
around in your gums, well, nothing’s cleaner than gums picked clean of the bits of food that’s in
them because of worms. Yes, Mouth Mud from toothpaste for men, you want it. – Wonderul – There’s worms in the, there’s worms in it. – Well, only in Mouth Mud. – Good worms, you know, like a silkworm? It poops out silk? – [Tony] The Munt has worms, too. – Oh, the Munt also has worms, okay. – Worms all around,
worms all the way down. I’m the prime boy now. – And Mamma has returned. – Mamma has graced you. – Boys, I’ve come to say, we are going to the parade. (claps) And I’ll fill you each with as much cotton candy as your little
pink mouths can hold. (happy noises) – Mamma, I love it when you refer to my little, pink mouth. It makes me feel very
comfortable (mumbles). – Mamma, can we share a balloon? – One small balloon. – Oh, the smaller, the better. – [Jacob] Mamma, what of the barn? Do we leave it unattended? – We don’t speak of it. – We don’t speak of the barn. – Oh, I’m sorry Mamma, I’m sorry. I never should have spoken
of the barn in your presence. – Mamma, sometimes I wake in the night, and I see the the barn glowing. I see a glow emanating from the barn, and I begin walking
towards the barn, Mamma, what is in the barn? – Don’t go in there. I’m serious. Don’t. – But I must. Mamma, shall we challenge? Shall we have a challenge, Mamma? – Let’s have a challenge. (happy noises) – Mamma has blessed us. – But we cannot have a challenge, Mamma, without a roll of the wheel, a chance of the dice, Mamma. – Indeed. – May I have permission
to roll the wheel, Mamma? – You may roll the wheel. – Roll the wheel, Mamma! – [Jacob] Roll the wheel, Mamma. – [Nathan] Like we always say. – [All] Oh! – Roll the wheel, Mamma. – Roll the wheel, Mamma. – It seems you’ve got inkblots. – Inkblots. I’m less mad about Nathan’s
name being up there, now, because I’m so excited for inkblots. – Yeah, see? You get used to it. – I get used to it, you know, I’m numb to it, much like I am numb to the barn’s call. – Mamma’s been concerned, lately, for your mental health,
little Lord Funnelstuff. – We’ve had a specialist
from the upper east side prepare these for you. – Yes, Mamma has spoken
with us, me and Sailor baby, and we think it’d be best if you looked at the inkblots and drew
what you thought they were. – Am I to have a visit from the man from Miskatonic again? – Whatever you are. – Ah, wonderful. So I am to perceive this ink drawing, and then draw my best
rendition, is that correct? – Yes. – Wonderful. – [Nathan] Your interpretation. – Will you hold it up for me, please? – Yes, of course. – Whatever your wild imagination thinks. – Now, the bottom bits, I believe, is a mustache, much like Father’s, so I’ll go ahead and draw that in there. – [Nathan] Oh, of course. – [Jacob] Please do not depict Father’s dark visage, brother. – [Nathan] He must draw
whatever he sees in the inkblot. – [Jacob] I fear to
look upon it, you know. – [Mamma] Did I ever tell you boys your father was the Pringles guy? – [Nathan] Many times, Mamma, many times. – [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely. – [Jacob] A boyish helping hand! – [Mamma] Let me those
out of (mumbles) for you. – [Caldwell] Thank you, Mamma. – [Mamma] Little Lord Fuglerby. – [Caldwell] I, of course, I see, yes, Father’s beautiful sunglasses. Father’s beautiful racing shades. – [Jacob] His prized possession when he would race the donkeys. – [Caldwell] I do miss the donkey races. It is unfortunate what befell them. – [Jacob] They went into the barn, it was their nature. – [Caldwell] Ah, the barn. – Don’t speak of the barn. – [Caldwell] I cannot help
it, I think of the barn often. – [Mamma] I’ve told you
boys to stay out there. I don’t know how many times. – But all of your telling
us to stay out of there just piques our boyish curiosity more. – [Mamma] Oh, boys, boys. – [Caldwell] I see a damp woman at the edge of the barn some nights. – Eww. (laughs) – [Caldwell] Let’s see. – [Jacob] I’m with
Sailor baby on this one, it does sound gross. – She tells me there’s bobbles and wheeled
instruments inside the barn for me to play with. What am I talking– – Do not listen to the
damp woman, brother. – Don’t listen to the damp woman, brother. – I’ve been assured by Mamma there are no bobbles to be found. – All right, now I’ve got
to rough in a frame here, for this man. – Oh, it’s Papa, oh, look at him. – [Caldwell] You see, I’ll
just finish up Papa here. – [Jacob] This is how I
like to remember Papa, with his shades and his mustache, you know, before the accident. – [Mamma] Sort of, his
weird, proboscis mouth. – [Jacob] Oh, it gave the
best smooches upon the cheek. – [Mamma] You’re telling me. No one kisses his mouth more than I do. – [Jacob] Mamma, there are
boys watching this program. – Oh, Papa, oh Papa,
there are so many things I wish to tell you. (laughs) – [Caldwell] Smoking one
of his famous thin cigars. – Out of his proboscis mouth. – [Mamma] He always loved
his Black and Mild’s, your papa did. – [Caldwell] Playing his cigar kazoo. (agreeing noises) – There he is. (mournful noise) – Just as I remember him. – Oh, yay. – [Jacob] The loving visage of Papa. – He’s gone. He’ll never return. Another! – Another! Another! – [Caldwell] Another! – Which way do you like? – [Caldwell] I like it
that way, no, no, no, the other way. – This way. – Yes. Of course, that would be, a manta ray. – The one animal that we were
unable to keep in the barn. – [Jacob] We tried, it was
not for lack of trying, they all died, mysterious circumstances. Must have been an illness. – They didn’t like the hay. No matter how much hay we gave them, it was never enough. – [Jacob] Such greedy creatures. – [Mamma] Greedy as a manta ray, as you guys always say. – [Caldwell] As the expression goes. – [Jacob] Exactly, Mamma, you taught us well how to
deal with those sea demons. – I’ve seen manta rays,
but never boy-ta rays. (laughs) – Excellent point, Sailor baby. – Thank you. – [Caldwell] Give it its
trademark thick tail. There we go, wonderful, a manta ray, and, of course, it is also smoking. – The manta ray’s tail reminds me so much of Papa’s mouth. – [Mamma] Yes. – [Caldwell] Manta ray. – Oh, beautiful, beautiful, it truly is a healthy relationship
we had with our father. – Another! – Another! – Oh, no. Grandfather. – [Jacob] Oh, no. We swore we’d never speak. – He never loved you boys. – He said it often, Mamma. To our faces, every time he saw us. – [Mamma] There was a reason the Christmas tree was barren underneath. – [Caldwell] Empty satchels. – I just thought that’s
what Christmas was, until I went off to boarding school, and they had– – When you were three years old? – When I was three years old, and they had better Christmas there. – I can always see the
place under the tree where the dust was disturbed, showing that a present once lain there, and Grandpapa must have taken it, he put it there, only to take it again. – He would put it there and take it, and then we’d watch him unwrap it himself, and then he would burn it. – [Jacob] It always
seemed to be boyish toys. – He had all the Tonka trucks and Nerf guns a boy could ask for, but would never give them to you. – Ah yes, Grandpapa’s many mandibles and, bifurcated eyes. – [Caldwell] I’m almost done. – And his antennae. – [Caldwell] So hard to render him. – Oh, Grandpapa, how he would always buzz around and slurp up sugars. – [Jacob] And smoke his cigarettes. – And smoke his cigarettes, of course. – [Jacob] You see, in the time we’re from, smoking was very common. – Grandapapa. – [Nathan] Grandpapa. – [Jacob] Oh! – Oh! – [Nathan] Oh! – [Jacob] Oh! – This is good, this is therapeutic, this is important. – You must face it. – It’s important to be honest with our feelings as boys. – He burned my wooden duck. I loved it so. Ooh! – Again, do you like
this way, or this way? – I like it that way, yes, of course. Who could it be, other than… – [Mamma] All of these look like Baskin Rugs from IKEA to me. (laughs) – [Jacob] Oh Mamma,
you love your rugs, so. – You love your rugs so. – [Jacob] The house is filled, walls, floors, ceilings, all rugs. – Indeed. – It’s sweltering in here. – Oh Mamma, how I love
to gaze upon your smile. (laughs) Such love and affection I feel. – It’s all from (mumbles) – Yay! – [Jacob] Are you dying, Mamma? It seems– – I’m fine. – Okay, I’ll have to trust you. – We’re all dying. – [Jacob] Sailor baby, you
have the funniest jokes. A boy cannot die. – [Caldwell] Boys are forever. Boys are eternal. – If only that were so. – So this is a rat King. (laughs) – [Caldwell] What are you talking about? This is Barnabas, our beloved cat. – Ah, yes, of course, Barnabas. Our beloved cat. Oh, he was too close to the barn. – Too close to the barn. I shall have one more. – It’s the same one again. – The same! – You have to interpret it differently. – [Caldwell] Flip it upside down. – [Jacob] Flip it again,
the ultimate test of a boy. (clears throat) – I see it now. Three boys, high fiving under the sun. (laughs) – [Jacob] A good omen! – Auspicious, indeed! A boon
has befallen these boys. – A high five, the
greatest sign of respect from one boy to another. – [Jacob] To another. – [Caldwell] To another. – [Jacob] Oh, I love a boy boon. Bless me with boy boons, every day of my life. – As we sing under the boy moon, blessed by boy boons, oh, were it to be ever be June. – Boy’s favorite month. – [Caldwell] A boy’s favorite month – A boy’s favorite month, the beginning of Summer, the never ending summers of boyhood. – Three cheers for boys. – [All] Three cheers for boys! – Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! – I’m finished. Now what? – It’s time, it’s, um. – Usually we do– – [Tony] It’s time for fan art! – Wonderful. – [Tony] That’s right, okay. – I feel like I’m waking up from a dream. – I would love to see some fan art. – Carolyn, why are you dressed like that? – Oh, I don’t know, I just went in sort of a fugue state today. – I woke up and my hair looked like this. – [Jacob] That’s bad for
you, it’s not the best. – I think I killed a boy, and now I’m Santa Clause-ing the boy? – Oh, yeah. – That seems right,
that’s how you remember– – So you’re transforming into him? – Yeah, it’s boy-Clause. – Yeah, because someone has to be the boy. – [Caldwell] Needs to be the boy. – You killed a fancy boy,
yeah, I remember that now. – We’ve got some fan art. – I hope it’s boyish. – I hope so, too. This fan art comes to us from Yes. – [Jacob] Yes! – [Caldwell] Yes! – [Jacob] Oh, is that Sonic and Knuckles? – [Nathan] Yeah, they’re
sharing a energy drink. – [Jacob] Oh, I love those boys. – [Caldwell] Those are the two boys. – [Nathan] It’s a beautifully rendered, I believe, it looks
like a digital painting. I don’t think it’s a
traditional (mumbles) painting, but it looks, it’s very nice. – [Jacob] I like that this one’s
not Drawfee fan art at all, – [Nathan] No, they submitted it. – [Jacob] I think it’s Sonic fan art. – [Nathan] It has Drawfee energy. – [Caldwell] It’s something we could have drawn on Drawfee, for sure. – [Jacob] But, boys love Sonic, and all of his many friends. – [Caldwell] Just love that Knuckles is given Sonic his last energy drink. – [Caldwell] Cause Sonic’s like, “I had a busy day at work.” – [Jacob] “Catching rings, and running through loops” – [Caldwell] “Get a little tired, and if I don’t run fast
enough over this loop–” – “I’ll die.” His classic catchphrase. – I like that Sonic could either be daintily taking the energy drink, or politely declining it. It’s open to interpretation. – [Jacob] “I’ve had enough.” – [Caldwell] “Twelve’s my limit.” – [Jacob] “A good boy
knows when to say no.” – “You know what, Knuckles? You need it more than me.” – Wow, that’s rude, man. Where’s Tails? – That was beautiful fan art. Tails wasn’t invited. – Tails wasn’t invited that time. – Tails is a snitch. – Tails tells mom that
they’re having energy drinks after four. – They’re having Four Locos seltzer out on the Green Hill Zone. – Oh, nice. Drinking hard palomas. – And you can send your
fan art into the show at drawfee.com/submissions. – Nathan’s right, you can. – You can do that, and it doesn’t even have
to be fan art of Drawfee, it can just be fan art
of whatever you want. – Yeah, apparently it can be anything. – If it’s a good enough painting, and it makes me chuckle, you might get picked. If you want your name to just be a word, like Yes, you can leave that as how
you want to be credited. – Should look at mail? Let’s look at mail. – Do we have any mail, Caldwell? – Yes, oh, there’s a whole bag over here. – Did you bring any mail from the far off land of Californ-I-A? – Before I left, the
minute I got on the train, the mail boy came up to me and said, like, “From one boy to another, please deliver these parcels.” – Was that the boy you killed? – Did you, are you the new mail boy? – [Jacob] You have his bag. – There’s more in this bag than you know. (all gasp) – [Nathan] Secrets. – But there’s also letters. Look at all of these treats. – [Jacob] A beautiful pile of letters. (sniffs) – Oh, lavender. (sniffs) Carbon, (approving noise) Sunsets (sniffs) Dreams, and of course, questions. – [Jacob] Oh, you found a question. – Yes, shall I open it? – [Jacob] Please. – Okay. There’s nothing in there. (gasps) Should there be something in here? Oh, wait, wait wait wait wait wait, written on the inside is a PIN number. Hold on, and a website. All right, I’ll write the website down, and I’ll enter in the PIN number. – [Jacob] What a series of mysteries. – Okay, I’m having to solve a riddle. – Another boyish trick. – You have to find all the stop signs. – I’ve gotta triangulate
something real quick. Okay, yes, the answer is raddish. I’ll put that in. – [Jacob] You triangulated it. – Great, okay, I got it. So the question comes
from Sarah in Minnesota, and the question is How’d you come up wit the name Drawfee? – Good question. – That’s an appropriate question, since Caldwell, we came up
with the name Drawfee together. – We did, we started Drawfee as a, I believe it was a Facebook show, – Yeah, CollegeHumor’s Facebook page. – We used it as a warmup for when we would draw at
the beginning of the day, back when we were
illustrators at CollegeHumor, so we called it Morning Drawfee, cause it was a pun on the
morning coffee you have when you start your day. – And we stopped releasing
them in the morning pretty soon, because it was it was too early to be
shouting in the office. (agreeing noise) – But the name stuck. – So we stopped calling
it Morning Drawfee, we just started calling it Drawfee, and it’s always fun when people first realize that the reason why it’s coffee and draw. – It really seems to hit
them like freight train, I see a lot of tweets that are like “Oh!” – Well, they realize it, and
then the next question is “But, why?” – You could have named it anything. – [Jacob] You could
have named it anything. – [Nathan] You could
have named it anything. – What’s the relation
between coffee and drawing, and why were you trying
to draw the parallel? – [Caldwell] They’re both good things. – Cause mug. Cause there’s a mug at the beginning. It’s our logo, it’s a mug. – It’s a name that raises
more questions than answers, and I like that. – Yeah, just like a boy. – Just like a boy does. – Wrapped in mystery. – A boy should be curious. – I see a boy, I’m like “Why is it sticky? I must know” – There’s so many reasons. – So many reasons. If you could name
Drawfee right now, today, what would you name it? – Draffe (laughs) – Like Nathan Draffe? That’s pretty good. – So one E. Two F’s, one E. – [Jacob] No W. – Draffe. – [Caldwell] And instead of a mug, it would just be Nathan’s face. – It’d just be me, and I’d say “It’s just me. Sometimes my friends can come.” I’d call it Julia Lepetit’s Drawing Show, and friends. – And friends and Co. – What about Draw Soup? – Oh, like Joel Mchale’s show? – Yeah. – But for drawing. – There you go. – I’m kinda the Joel
Mchale of YouTube shows. (disgusted noise) (all laugh) – I’m sorry, Mamma. – Mamma does not care for Joel Mchale. – Mamma does not care for the Mchale, she’s always said. – We’ve angered Mamma. – Mamma, do we have
permission to end the program? – You may, let us go to the parade, lest it pass us by. – Oh, finally. – I wish to see the soldiers. – Oh yeah, I need to change my outfit, because I don’t want to insult any… – You do not wish to steal valor. – You should definitely
do that, yes, Sailor baby, it’s very offensive,
your choice of clothes. – I didn’t choose it. – Well, you know how we
end the show ever time, with our three magic words. – Of course. – A boy’s words. – A boy’s words. – We are sorry. (all laugh) (rock music) – We’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, we’re boys, – The boat, I see it! (coughs) (rock music) (groans)

100 thoughts on “Drawing With The Boys – The Drawfee Variety Hour

  1. This was all Caldwell's idea, wasn't it?

    Also, is Caroline just Jim Varney?

  2. Caldwell looks like Jim Carey doing a bit in that wig.

  3. The Boys season 2 premier

  4. Extremely surprised that Jacob recommended Nathan make his right arm super jacked and yet did not seize the opportunity for max inappropriateness from that point on

  5. Draw impossible objects

  6. Caldwell missed the opportunity to say "kid knees" rather than "boy knees".

  7. Does anyone else feel like these go too slow and too fast at the same time.

  8. I've been so excited to see these boys in those boy outfits since the teaser images months ago and I'm so happy

  9. Also I love Mama

  10. I was gonna make a joke about catholic priests, but instead call me Lady Gaga because I like Boys, Boys, Boys.

  11. "Walk through a garden…. dig up a tree… TOSS IT"

  12. The Jacob version of the dropout ad at the end was very apt.

  13. Nathan’s face when Caldwell says “I see a damp woman” cured my anxiety and his little ‘ew’ obliterated my depression. I feel like a whole new healthy boy, blessed by boy boons.

  14. One of these times I swear Nathan's just gonna die and Julia is gonna trap his soul in a painting.

  15. Caldwell makes me Caldswell

  16. So next time can we get “the girls” with Julia, Karina, and a super special guest?!?!

  17. I've missed Papa Caldwell's chiseled face.
    Also, it disturbs (yet satisfies?) me on a fundamental level seeing Caldwell in the wig.

  18. Weird. Looks like I woke up in a surreal alternate reality.

  19. Caldwell's wig is mesmerising.

  20. This feels like if nightvale had a comedy show speaking of which you guys should draw characters from nightvale

  21. finally, the boys

  22. OMG TablePop crossover!

  23. I’ve never been more disturbed in a drawfee episode as I was when I saw Caldwell in that outfit

  24. What the…?

  25. This makes me so viscerally, truly happy

  26. this variety hour was something else

  27. why caldwell b lookin like tyler the creator

  28. my trans ass dissociating through the entire episode except when mama is on screen

  29. Caldwell is back boys. For this episode at least

  30. Caldwell's wig is making me uncomfortable… but also not uncomfortable

  31. I thought Drawfee was already a pun of Nathan's last name lol
    Big chaotic energy all around

  32. why did Caldwell steal Igor's hair and Christopher Columbus's good clothes

  33. 46:17 yo

  34. 41:44

    Nathan's wtf face when Caldwell is sniffing the envelopes.

  35. ah, yes. The tried-and-true cavity-preventing formula of MUNT.

  36. i can feel it in my bones, this is gonna be a good one

  37. I think I was crying laughing this whole episode. Omg. These are always so surreal and hilarious but this was just…This was pinnacle comedy.

  38. This is the best video on the Internet ever

  39. Fanciful Ferdinand. I was hoping to get a NADDPOD reference and I got one less than two minutes in. What a great time to be alive.

  40. After watching this I immediately feel like I imagined the whole thing

  41. So the next episode is gonna be "Girls" right? Starring Julia, Karina, and Carolyn (again)

  42. i just woke up from a 6 hour post dinner nap, it's now 2:30am, and i was not mentally prepared for the intro to this. jfc boys wtf

  43. I wish you all would go and do voice acting. In every show. Do it

  44. Who else misses Julia?

  45. I hope that on the last challenge of the last episode the weal lands on kill Nathan

  46. Hey so it almost Halloween… so can you do some knock off south park characters? Just do some south park.

  47. I’m gonna be honest guys. That was maybe the best of things. This boy, he approves. Dance for me boys. Dance for me so

  48. Wtf Is on Caldwell's head?

  49. What

  50. morning drawfee makes way more sense

  51. "He stares at the barn and the barn stares back."

    Literally the plot of Gideon Falls. Which everyone should be reading; it is quite spooktacular.

  52. This episode needed a Julia Cam in the corner where we can watch her slowly become more disappointed

  53. I sincerely started getting a little scared 😂😂😂

  54. i was not prepared for how this started… XD

  55. Show starts. What is happening?

  56. as cursed as this is, it gave me a real good laugh. i was having a crappy day and thanks for making it a bit better drawfee

  57. Big Lad Energy

    BLE

  58. This is strangely reminiscent of BoJack Horseman. XD

  59. I knew the cis weren't right, but it's nice to see it on display so honestly.

  60. Real men know about Snalt and Snalt Water; working in the Snalt mine.

  61. Wooooooooow, I'm both enchanted and disturbed. And Julia wasn't even in this episode. Well done, boys~!

  62. I can't believe that an episode with no Julia in it is somehow the most cursed one

  63. I find myself in equal parts asking, what?, And why? All the while enjoying myself. I've not been this confused since Hee Haw!

  64. Fanciful Ferdinand? Is that FERDINAND VON AEGIR???

  65. THE BOAT, I SEE IT

  66. I really want Julia to draw Caldwell, Nathan and Jacob in their respective outfits.

  67. Okay so like I just found out Caldwell is hot and my life is different

  68. This made me so uncomfortable.. Yet I somehow like it. Help?

  69. Caldwell looks terrifying in that wig

  70. O mother Carolyn bless us with these boyish boons more often. I loved ma-ma. Her eternal squint and grimace along with the reserved clap were fantastic.

  71. As a boy, this episode really speaks to me.

  72. one episode it will finally land on kill nathan and the world will end

  73. Does anyone else feel weird about how long that full shot of just nathan drawing was?

  74. A girls episode is needed now. With Julia, Karina and Willie in a dress.

  75. The drawfee variety hour is like escalating into insanity quicker and quicker can this be sustained? Or will they just launch themselves into the sun of pure entertainment madness

  76. God you guys are so fucking werid but i love it

  77. This was so wrong and horrible. I loved it. The next logical step is GIRLS. And after girls : OTHERS.

  78. i did not think variety hour could get more cursed, and here, I am proven wrong

  79. Draw kill Nathan please

  80. I feel like Jacob's face is stuck smiling at this point 😂

  81. The vibe this episode is giving off is really something

  82. Tennis Idiot and Sailor Baby should team up

  83. Dale isnt fooling me i know thats jake gyllenhaal in disguise

  84. Draw Bad Gamers Incorporated, slaving away at their 9 to 5 job

  85. Wtf is that intro

  86. I never imagined Caldwell to look like this hm

  87. So is this series just going to be Tim & Eric, but with some drawing? I kinda hope not.

  88. Am i the only one that appreciated Cadwell's Lovecraftian reference?

  89. B b b b b b b b b b b b b b

  90. Middle Class class.

  91. I really enjoyed watching nothing but Nathan drawing for 2 minutes straight

  92. Paragon Hank would be proud of Nathan right now

  93. again this segment has gone ooofffff ttthhheee rraaaiiillls

  94. I'm crying because I laugh too much each episode XDDDDD it's really one of the best show with that weird energy that I crave

  95. I don't know Carolyn, so I'm thinking, maybe she's from streams? Yes? No?
    Anyway, she is very funny.

  96. I….. just……….. yeah.

  97. this got so weird so fast

  98. I’m lovin this so much

  99. Fauntleroy Caldwell is the perfect solution to a sad day. Saw that beautiful boy and cheered right up!

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